


Butterfly Wings and Skinny Things

by joshlersus



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anorexia, EDNOS, Eating Disorder, Eating Disorders, I'm not sorry, au where tyler never met josh, au where tyler never played basetball, basically a synopsis of my life, bulmia, rip my josher feels, suicidal thougts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 19:52:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6673420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshlersus/pseuds/joshlersus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>basically, this is about Tyler and his eating disorder.  (( don't read this if you're triggered by anything in the tags.  obviously.  ))</p>
            </blockquote>





	Butterfly Wings and Skinny Things

Tyler looked in the mirror. He looked up and down and up and down and up and down. He did not like what he saw. All he saw was FATFATFAT and he wanted to see BONESBONESBONES. He didn't understand why he looked this way. He had been sticking to a strict diet.

No eating before 9 am and after 6 pm.  
No eating foods over 300 calories per serving.  
No sweets of any kind.  
No dairy of any kind.  
No gelatin of any kind.  
No meat of any kind.  
If you're hungry, drink warm water.  
Constantly drink cold water, it boosts the metabolism.  
No more than 500 calories a day.  
Weigh in every night.  
Walk at least 2 miles everyday.

This was his life now. He did not know when he had gotten to this point, constantly monitoring his weight and watching his food intake. He just wanted to be skinny, to not hate what he saw in the mirror. 

His parents had noticed that he hadn't been eating correctly. Tyler hadn't ever really eaten properly and he had always been on the skinnier side. It was his dad that had noticed that he was eating less than usual. He pulled Tyler into the car one day and told him he was going to see a therapist for eating disorders. Tyler cried, not because of the fact that he did not want to go to therapy or that his anxiety couldn't handle it, but because he didn't want to change. He had been making so much progress and now it was going to be wrecked. He didn't talk to the therapist about his eating problems. He had convinced her his dad just never saw him eat regularly, he just wasn't home to witness it. Instead, he talked about his anxiety with people, which wasn't a lie. He really did have trouble talking to new people and being in large groups of people. He completed six or seven sessions and never returned.

Tyler's mother didn't believe anything was wrong with him. She took it upon herself to try and make him gain weight, weighing him in every week and forcing him to drink at least two protein drinks a day. They were disgusting, chalky, grainy milkshakes that made Tyler want to vomit. He gained the weight and eventually his mother left him alone. After that, he slowly but surely returned to his old habits.

Tyler didn't see anything wrong with what he was doing. He was just maintaining his figure. After all, he didn't want to grow up to be a fatty. Obesity is an epidemic, right? So why was losing weight so bad if the rest of the country was overweight anyways?

He sat down on his bed and pulled out his laptop, opening an incognito window on his web browser. His parents still checked his web history so he had to be careful. He typed in " anorexia tips " in the search bar and pushed the return key. The page popped up in a flash, showing him more results than he could even comprehend. He clicked on the first link entitled "Thintentions: Pro-Ana Tips". The page contained rules about how, when, and what to eat. Tyler quickly got out a notebook and wrote down all of the rules.

He then logged onto his Tumblr page, which of course contained different diets, thinspiration, and personal eating logs. He loved to look at all of the pictures of the skinny boys and girls. Their beautiful bones poking out from their paper skin. Butterfly winged spines and razor sharp hip bones. Tyler longed to have their slender thighs and calves, to be able to wrap his fingers around his leg and his thumb meet his forefinger.

In order to be beautiful like them, Tyler must work harder. He must lose more weight, follow the rules. Follow the rules was the name of the game.

135 pounds.

The scale read 135 pounds as he stepped on. He dismounted the glass platform and stepped up again.

135 pounds.

The numbers blinked and disappeared. If only the excess fat from the boy's body could disappear as easily.

He made a bet to himself. If he couldn't lose five pounds by the next Sunday, he would fast as punishment until he did so.

Five pounds was easy enough, wasn't it? All Tyler needed was the willpower. He believed he could do it. He KNEW he could do it. He HAD to do it.

**Author's Note:**

> please leave kudos and comment, it means a lot to me !! Also, if you or anybody you know is struggling with an eating disorder please seek help. I know you or they could be in a bad place, but killing yourself by practicing unhealthy eating habits isn't worth it.


End file.
